Time is short.
Love is big.
Anger is a waste.
Regret is a waste too.
Communication is important.
Touch is vital.
Tears have meaning words don't.
Opinions are of no consequence.
Rules were made to be broken.

Time is short.
Love is big.

Only when I dream~

"Every time I turn around,
When I'm lost and when I'm found,
Like an angel standing guard-
There you are.."

Except you aren't~

Veritas

"Truth"

It hurts...acually- I think that pain is a good indicator in this regard...
If it hurts- it's probably truth.

I read something this morning that made me say, "OUCH!"

"You have to be willing to opt out of certain relationships in order to give your most important ones the time and attention they require and deserve."

Ugh..."OPT OUT"-

This means choosing to walk away from someone- from a relationship that is dear to you- even if it hurts...for your good, and probably theirs.
And I see that this is truth.

I see that someone has been trying to explain this to me for a while now.

I accept this truth. I see that I need to be focused elsewhere. The slate of my heart needs to be clean~
The problem is that there's something like a pool of cooled lava in one corner- and it's hardened- it's actually become completely attached- and I can't remove it easily-
I'm working on it.

Ouch, ouch, ouch...

Adrideo

"To Smile"


Did it work?

Cognitio

"Getting to know , knowledge"

People are funny creatures.

-

We start out simply enough...having needs and crying until those needs are met.

Then we learn about the joy of play, and laughter, and curiosity.

Ever play peek-a-boo with a 3 month old? Or been covered in kisses by a baby?

-

Or caught a crawler (9 month old) sitting in the bathroom un-spooling all the toilet tissue- and laughing as if it were the funniest thing in the world.

-

Ah- and next there are the lessons in safety and responsibility...

"Don't touch the outlets sweetie...Time to pick up our toys....lets wash our hands before lunch"

And before we know it- we come to understand our world has boundaries, limits, dangers, and consequences for our actions. We learn how to navigate around our needs- how to meet them in better ways than crying, or we simply let some needs go unmet.

We feel, and then analyze how we feel. We question everything...but get few answers. Our decisions are not based on our needs alone, they are based on the needs of everyone around us, and at the end of the day, we've done more for everyone in our circle than we have for ourselves...

And then we wonder why we feel out of sorts, or moody, or even lonely.

We get out of touch with ourselves. We over complicate simple things- like the need to be touched, or held, or just the need to be alone with someone in silence...to feel, inhale, and simply enjoy being in the presence of someone we love.

A back rub in the dark before he falls asleep-

His hands in my hair, or his fingertips on my cheek-

A kiss on the back of the neck-

All of these places held in reserve for one- and that "one" is too busy, or too tired to claim those places...and the other lets the need go unmet.

Why? Aren't we worth it? Aren't they? How hard is it to say "Hey...I need you!"

How hard is it to say..."I need you to know me"

-

Memento Mori

"Be mindful of dying"

common meaning;
"Remember you are mortal"

One of the books I'm presently reading, "Awakening at Mid-life" had a remarkable passage which stuck with me over the last several days. It said:

(In the Western culture) "We generally fail to appreciate that the boundary of death gives us a sense of purpose and meaning to our life. Too often, the awareness of death can cause us to live with a sense of hopelessness...

On the other hand, the awareness of death can push us to dance with life , to grab it with all the gusto we can. We can live every day in the moment, learn to love without hesitation, become aware of what is truly important to us, and experience ourselves as part of a great cosmic plan."
This idea that we fail to "appreciate the boundary of death" conveys more than our simply embracing each day and being grateful for it- it goes deeper than that. It reveals to me that no amount of energy or time should be spent feeling fretful, or worried about my own death, or the passing of those I love.


I feel that it's almost impossible for me to "appreciate the boundary of death", and yet- I KNOW deep in my heart that this is absolutely the healthiest way to view my own end. I WANT to feel this way- I want to value the finish line, but totally enjoy every moment of the race.

On second thought though...there are reasons why we don't enjoy some moments of the race. Some are painful, frightening, and confusing. There will be days when grief will walk closely with us. There will be times of deep loss, and those times should be respected with our tears and recognition of what can not be replaced. "Grief" is a love word, and in some ways- nothing measures our depth of love more accurately than death.

Sometimes we ourselves don't fully understand how much we loved until that person is gone.

Death is a companion to life, my future holds both, and I know it more now than I ever have. Love is in my future too...and it seems to me that love is the one thing that makes everything else worthwhile- it even gives me a sense of peace about the end...that I will arrive at my own finish line having loved with abandon, and knowing love was returned in kind.

As I end this post today- I want to finish with perhaps a better Latin phrase than the one I started with. The syntax might be wrong- but the right idea will be conveyed...

Memento Animatio
"Be mindful of living"

and

Memento Amororis
"Be mindful of loving"

Cur, or Ni

"Why"

??????????

Aperio ...

"What"

Oh...if only I knew!