This morning, in a Hardee's restaurant, I stood in line behind an elderly couple who were placing an order. The lady told the cashier what they wanted and the gentleman paid for breakfast. Their 2 little biscuits and coffee cost $3.79.

As he opened his wallet to take out his cash, he also pulled out a $50 bill in Mexican money (Pesos?) turned his head, and grinned at me. He said, "They won't take this stuff"- and I smiled and said, "No, I don't think they will". After he paid, he then turned to me and took out a bill that I didn't recognize. As he showed it to me he said- with an even bigger grin, "They won't take this either!" I asked him where it was from, and he said, "The Soviet Union".
I laughed and replied, "Well, you are just loaded! Aren't you?" He laughed too- and then shuffled off to follow his wife to their table. (Strangers often speak to me. I did not know this man or his wife, but I was not surprised by his friendliness. I think I appear "approachable"- particularly to older people. And little kids :)

I placed my order next. As I waited at the counter I turned around to watch the elderly couple, and I caught them at the exact moment they held hands, lowered their heads, and gave thanks for their food. Tears welled up in my eyes immediately. A thousand thoughts and feelings swept over me as I stood there. I don't know how it's possible for the human brain to process so many thoughts and feelings in such a tiny span of time, but it did.
In a matter of seconds I went from thinking about my chicken biscuit to getting weepy over a couple of old folks who were merely doing what they've probably done for 50 years or more.
It was beautiful.

Of course I wondered about their life. I kind of wanted to interview them. Actually though, that would have been a distraction for me, because what was at the root of my tears had nothing to do with the life they've led, and everything to do with my own.

I realized, with all my heart, I wanted an investment in another person that would pay out this kind of gold in my old age. I want the finished garment to be seamless. I want more than love, and passion, and adoration- I want *Nirvana. I want the finished product at the end of my life to be whole and unbroken- I want to be saturated and satisfied. I want the kind of bliss I saw this morning between 2 old people holding hands and giving thanks for their simple breakfast.

I think today, for the first time in my life, I saw the PRIZE. I saw it for what it really is. And I feel utterly inept in trying to describe it. Even now as I sit here typing -the tightness in my throat and the tears on my cheeks are all I have to express how I feel. It's pathetic. :)
So much for being a Writer. All I have to show for that title is a wet keyboard...
I'm sorry.

I was called away and didn't get to ask the couple any questions, but I didn't really need to. Sometimes the facts of a matter ding or tarnish the patina of feelings or sentiment.
I didn't want anything to spoil what I was thinking and feeling- so I am at peace about not having the history of their life. Although, if I ever see them again, I will ask :)

In one regard I feel I have a long way to go. On the other hand- I might only have today, or this year. I might only have my companion today, or this year.

I might only have YOU for today.

The Prize, exactly as I saw it this morning, may or may not be mine. I think the Prize is different things to different people, and yet the concept of it is probably universal. I can not describe exactly what it is, and yet I felt it with such force. I know what I saw, but can not convey the depth of what was truly there. Maybe one day, as this event brews in my head and in my heart, I will be able to. I hope so.

I'll be away for the next several days- the ocean is calling. Hope you all have a beautiful weekend :)